i am the tiller of the soil & soul
Ready, Set, THrive!
I remember the day when Madam Reality showed up at my door huffing and puffing. Gurl, don’t you know you’re a hard one to track down? She then cocked her head to one side and said, You know why I’m here, right? I knew what she meant. I had all the signs for needing a reality visit- not being comfortable in my own skin, drinking more wine, not sleeping well. I was a licensed clinical social worker, a somatic experiencing practitioner, so I should have known better. But somehow, I had convinced myself I was the exception. After all I was in the trenches helping others manage their own life. How could I now admit I was like everybody else? That I had stopped paying attention to the quality of my own life?
And yet there I stood, naked in the mirror of my life. My asthma was out of control. I had become 70-pounds overweight. I had been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and a leaky gut. I had developed a multimodule goiter and food allergies, in addition to my pre-existing environmental allergies. And to top it off, my on-again- off-again engagement of nine years had walked out the door along with my hopes of obtaining financial backing to launch my private practice. I was fifty years old, an age when most of my colleagues were beginning to think about retirement, yet here I was, once again reinventing myself. Shit!
The day Madam reality showed up and forced me to slow down was actually a blessing. I just stopped and surrendered, and with the help of myself and others (mentors, other healers, doctors) to witness me, I began to unpack my old, stinky, dirty pain. This included the dirty laundry, the wounds I had inherited without question. What surprised me but I could not comprehend it at the time, was in that moment when I surrendered was also the same moment when a realization over me, and like a vison I saw I was supposed to be thriving, not surviving my lived experiences. nce again, starting at the bottom, I learned to let go of what had been holding me back, and rebuilt my life. It was this personal struggle that I would emerge years later with the concept and tools of THrive..
Like most people, my soul was weary way before that day Madam Reality showed up. Like most people, I had been dragging around an emotional hope chest, filled with generations of anger, grief, fear, and shame. Like everyone else, I had inherited both the spoken and unspoken narratives of my parents, their parents, and their parents before them. I had absorbed what they endured and witnessed without realizing it. These experiences accumulate within us, creating sometimes joy, but more often confusion and pain. These generational experiences inform our cultures, our souls, our bodies, and how we live in the present.
Soul wounds for us all are the accumulation of unresolved adversities, traumatic events, regrets, and missed opportunities of our own current lives and childhood experiences. When these types of experiences don’t have the ability to move through and clear out, they become stuck and metastasize within the physical realms of the emotional body like trapped echoes, bouncing off our cells creating wounds that affect us internally and wounds that affect those around us eternally.
As a child I learned early on to hide pain and stay invisible for safety. But doing so came at a high cost. I learned to also stop listening to the signals of my body. Pain and discomfort are signals trying to get our attention. These signals ask us to slow down, pause, lookout, and take our time to notice what we feel, to notice what is happening to us. When we lose faith in the ability to recognize the signals of our body, we also lose faith in our ability to listen to our souls. When we can’t hear, our energy becomes stagnant, our holistic wellness deteriorates, and dis-ease and mental illness begin to set in. This is when we need to discover what it is that is hurting us, that is stopping us from being connected to our true energy- the reator.
Today I am The Tiler of the Soil and Soul, and I want to share the lessons I learned by leading you on the journey of THrive. As tiller of soil and soul, I counsel, witness, and work with you to help clear out what no longer serves you and to help you heal your soul wounds. As tiler and client, we walk through the garden of life together weeding, sowing, identifying, and reveling in the beauty of being alive on this sacred ground.